I have secrets. I have a collection of sins.
Half of me is generosity, the other half is dark, enclosed, veiled.
I don’t know if it’s a half or only layers: that, that the surface shows, is not what the surface covers - or it’s the thread of an ancient velum. A fabric trimmed by the ancestors, interlacing good and bad, turning into fine silk what once was rustic jute.

I’d be a psychopath if I were religious.
I’d be a witch if I were not lazy.
I’d be a scientist in order to keep some sanity.
I have answers but I’m bored by the questions.

Inside of me dark beings dance along with creatures full of light.
Around me...angels live. Angels and the balance I provide to others.
The balance I invent to myself.
The balance I project on this big screen called life.

I know things - and I was born knowing them - which I cannot tell, unless in sparse chapters, scattered sentences or sporadic thoughts.
Trust me: it’s easier to be a sinner when you know hell’s exact address. It’s easier to forgive when you know precisely where heaven lives.
I know who I am... I’m not special. I’m not rare. I’m ancient.
Philosophy tires me. Theology bores me. Theories about the new age exhaust me. They all sound like old stories...old news.
For I’ve heard the thoughts of the universal mind before the world even existed.
Sometimes the universe is a museum of misspelled unoriginal ideas...
All I can say is I wish I could know the euphoria of discovering.
originally written in Portuguese.
probably a bad translation.


Alice Salles said...

"All I can say is I wish I could know the euphoria of discovering." i rest my case.

MgMyself said...


Your ancient too...I know. :)

Jon Davis said...

I was born ancient as well. I think we are all born filled with lightness and darkness in our souls. Precious few of us know how to use both to navigate our existences. I love your blog posts, M.