Ancient Spell

“You were a knight: a strong, courageous, fearless knight, and the king’s best man. You used to spend too much time on the battlefield while I was praying for you to come back. There was always a lamp on our cabin's door, lit up for to guide you back home to me.
One fine day you were gone to the war. Months and months have passed and, one by one, the soldiers came back to their families. I spent days at the front door, scented with oils, all dressed up, waiting for my love to come home…. I asked about you but your buddies could not look me in the eyes. The last soldier to arrive, gave me your sword with honors, and told me that you got killed in battle as hero. You were a hero. There would never be a warrior like you.
No…there would never be a man like you.I cried and screamed, and damned the king, and every one of his generals, and every drop of blood! I prayed the skies to take off of this earth every man who has ever wanted a war, and send them to spend eternity in hell!
Then I stopped crying and wrote a prayer asking every saint, ghost, angel, spirit, every form of energy from good or evil, to bring you back to me. I put your clothes, my clothes, our bed sheets, our personal objects, your sword, our glasses, our intimacy, my letters, your bottles of wine; all over our bed…I threw the scented oils I used to fill your bath with…and the oil lamp that should have guided you home…and I set our house on fire.
I transformed our love into smoke perfumed with pain and sadness…the smoke got to the sky covering the stars in that full moon night. Now you and I were up there in the smoke, united forever, as pure feelings…pure love and memories.
Fire burned everything we’ve touched, while I kept saying my prayer,  desperately for the smoke to guide us in our lives to come; for you to come back to me in each one of these lives, and never ever go to the battlefields again; for the sword and blood never take you away from me.
Down on my knees, watching the smoke transform desire in assurance, I was arrested. I was tortured. I confessed to be impure. But I did not feel the pain, for my soul was no longer part of anything. I was burned in the bonfire while the crowd screamed-- “witch! Burn witch!” -- watching me die. My last muscle to contract brought a smile to my face: the time to be with you again has come.

Years passed…. centuries passed, and we were born again, separated by the ocean this time. I could not remind me of anything, until a war has begun. I heard the news: troops have arrived to that almost sacred soil, and I knew immediately that something big was close to stab on my chest. My heart exploded and I didn’t know why. Tears fell down my face as a warning that a great warrior was back to a holy battle.
Again, I was impotent.
That war has never ended and even though my heart told me that you were safe, I couldn’t help myself from crossing the ocean to search for my lost warrior. I traveled, I wandered, and I looked up every corner of the world, but I didn’t really know what I was looking for.
Then, one night, I was with friends in a bar, when the smell of scented oils, wood and smoke, took the place. That made me dizzy but nobody else could feel. Suddenly, the place's door opened bringing the cold air of the winter, smelling like perfume and blood, as your clothes used to, centuries before.
Your eyes shined when you saw me. Your blond beard, your tanned skin, your sparkling smile, and your white shirt glistening as your armor…Then I remembered your kiss on our cabin’s door, your hands lifting up my dress, you taking me in your arms like it was the last time. Every time as the last time…
So now we kiss… and our souls rejoice for they will never be apart again.
I finally found you, my knight. My man is back!

(Dry the tears…deep breath…I don't think I'm normal...)

December 2005


I wonder…

What do you see when you open your eyes in the morning?
What do you eat for breakfast?
How do you like your coffee?
Who is that on the phone when it rings during the day?

When you wake up in the middle of the night, do you walk barefoot to the kitchen?
What do you think about when you are in bed staring at the ceiling lamp?

Do you sing in the shower?
Do you put on some music?
Do you dress up in the bathroom or you go to your room, and you wet the floor, and throw the wet towel on your bed?
Do you talk to yourself in the mirror? What do you say?

What is your favorite dish?
Do you like sushi?
Sea food?
Would you split a salad with me?

What do you see through your window?
What kind of objects decorates your living room?
What's the last thing you do before leaving home?

What kind of music do you listen to when you drive?

When you get home, do you watch TV?
Do you read a book? Do you get online?
When you open your e-mail box, are you expecting for something special ?
What kind of e-mail you delete?

What you totally dislike?
What do you think when you are alone in the dark?
What is that you dream about?
What’s your last thought before closing your eyes?

What do you want?
What do you wish?
What do you crave for?
What do you miss?

Which one of your answers would bring you to me?


Missing with an H

I miss you like hell!

What the hell is hell doing in the same line as you?
You are heaven itself.

Can I miss you like heaven ?
Heaven with an H
as in Hug
as in Honey
as in Half
as in Heart ?

Let me stop missing you, baby.

Come here with an H
as in happy.


Can you hear me when I miss you?

Can you hear me when I tell stories about you, even if I don't say your name?
Can you read the words I write quoting your lines?
Can you see me in your dreams when you hug me in mine?
Can you smell my perfume when I look at the moon wondering where on earth can you be?
Can you hear me asking myself over and over again what did I do so wrong?
Can you feel me crying?
Can you even remember me?

Can you?

Some days I can live with all that, you know?
But there are the other days. Days I really want to cry.
Days I'd kill to see you. Days I'd die for hearing your voice for two seconds... Just two seconds: enough for you to pronounce the words: "I miss you."
I'd do anything...Anything...

Can you hear me?

why if you are inside of me?





You've been part of my past life
away, you've been in the back of my mind
you are back to my dreaming nights
you'll be forever in this crazy heart

you should